Clearly.
The Invention of Lying looks good. But, the teaser trailer for Cemetery Junction really raises my hopes. Those guys have a really hard time not being funny.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
NY Synagogue Terror Suspects: Real Threat or Just Jokers?
Here's a post I wrote for Causecast.org about the NY terror suspects.
Americans woke up this morning to discover that a terrorist plot against two synagogues in the Bronx, New York, was foiled by the FBI working with New York police. The most troubling thing about this new plot is that the suspects likely had no connection to al Qaeda, Guantanamo Bay or the Taliban.
It should come as no surprise to Americans, however, that there are people out there who don’t like us or that it would translate into negative sentiment at home. Despite our “fight them there so we don’t have to fight them here” mentality, it’s very difficult to segregate communities in the 21st century. Muslims in America are certainly cognizant of civilian deaths in the Middle East, and it is quite clear that these suspects intended to avenge the deaths of Muslims in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
That being said, the new question is, How serious was this threat? The FBI learned about the disgruntled Muslims from a confidential informant, and supplied the suspects with what they thought were IED missiles and plastic explosives. Had the FBI not seen the plan through to the moment when the suspects believed they were setting the bombs, would they ever have made it this far? IED missiles, though plentiful on the streets of Tikrit, are not quite so easy to come by in the Bronx. I don’t think you can just walk over to Ray’s Pizza and order a few with your slice.
Would these four nuts have been as successful in tracking down real explosive devices? According to the Washington Post, the detained men said they were disappointed that the World Trade Center was no longer around to attack. That’s kind of like when you see a really good price for a CD you already own and you wish you could buy it again. Something tells me that the guys who came up with this plot weren’t exactly criminal masterminds.
Terrorist Leader: Alright men, we’re going to blow up the World Trade Center!
Underling: Um…boss…that’s kind of already been taken care of. Maybe we should come up with an alternate target.
Terrorist Leader: Okay, then. Plan B! Where do the Jews hang out?
A couple of synagogues must have been more inspiring than Katz’s Deli on East Houston.
So, I’m obviously thankful that dutiful law enforcement prevented an attack, but I’m not sure these guys were plotting the next 9/11.
Americans woke up this morning to discover that a terrorist plot against two synagogues in the Bronx, New York, was foiled by the FBI working with New York police. The most troubling thing about this new plot is that the suspects likely had no connection to al Qaeda, Guantanamo Bay or the Taliban.
It should come as no surprise to Americans, however, that there are people out there who don’t like us or that it would translate into negative sentiment at home. Despite our “fight them there so we don’t have to fight them here” mentality, it’s very difficult to segregate communities in the 21st century. Muslims in America are certainly cognizant of civilian deaths in the Middle East, and it is quite clear that these suspects intended to avenge the deaths of Muslims in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
That being said, the new question is, How serious was this threat? The FBI learned about the disgruntled Muslims from a confidential informant, and supplied the suspects with what they thought were IED missiles and plastic explosives. Had the FBI not seen the plan through to the moment when the suspects believed they were setting the bombs, would they ever have made it this far? IED missiles, though plentiful on the streets of Tikrit, are not quite so easy to come by in the Bronx. I don’t think you can just walk over to Ray’s Pizza and order a few with your slice.
Would these four nuts have been as successful in tracking down real explosive devices? According to the Washington Post, the detained men said they were disappointed that the World Trade Center was no longer around to attack. That’s kind of like when you see a really good price for a CD you already own and you wish you could buy it again. Something tells me that the guys who came up with this plot weren’t exactly criminal masterminds.
Terrorist Leader: Alright men, we’re going to blow up the World Trade Center!
Underling: Um…boss…that’s kind of already been taken care of. Maybe we should come up with an alternate target.
Terrorist Leader: Okay, then. Plan B! Where do the Jews hang out?
A couple of synagogues must have been more inspiring than Katz’s Deli on East Houston.
So, I’m obviously thankful that dutiful law enforcement prevented an attack, but I’m not sure these guys were plotting the next 9/11.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Brian Hayward: Get On Twitter!
During tonight's Ducks-Red Wings playoff game (The series is tied 1-1 and the Ducks lead 1-0 after the first period), play-by-play announcer John Ahlers was promoting Fox Sports' new Twitter account. Ahlers then asked color commentator Brian Hayward if he was on Twitter yet. Hazy said that he wasn't quite on Twitter yet.
Let me just say that I'm a huge fan of the broadcasters on Fox Sports Prime Ticket. I've been a Ducks fan for years and years, and any modern hockey fan will tell you that you really form a bond with your local commentators, simply because you spend about 80+ nights a year watching and listening to them (you see, in hockey, most of the games are not televised nationally, and I prefer Ahlers and Hayward to Mike Emrick and Eddie Olczyk anyway.)
Brian Hayward has a pretty strong following in southern California, for his ab-solutely sen-sational analysis of hockey and his nightly "Hockey 101" and the pun-ny "Breaking Through the Hays" segments. Because of his affability and local notability, I am hereby requesting that Brian Hayward start a Twitter account as soon as possible.
As both a Ducks fan and Managing Editor of an Internet start-up company, I am volunteering myself as the perfect person to teach Brian Hayward all about Twitter. For one thing, I hate social media and the culture surrounding it as much as any head-scratching middle-aged person (Hazy is 48). Also, I can teach him how to keep his tweets focused, humorous and informative. Though my Twitter feed is a mish-mash of song lyrics, sports news, jokes and Diddy-isms, I feel I have the optimal amount of experience and know-how to transform Hayward's Twitter feed into an O.C. sports phenomenon.
Within weeks, I guarantee we'll have Jim Fox and Stu Lantz begging me for Twitter tips (or Twips, if you will).
How about it, Hazy? Give me a shot.
Second period is about to start now. Go Ducks!
Let me just say that I'm a huge fan of the broadcasters on Fox Sports Prime Ticket. I've been a Ducks fan for years and years, and any modern hockey fan will tell you that you really form a bond with your local commentators, simply because you spend about 80+ nights a year watching and listening to them (you see, in hockey, most of the games are not televised nationally, and I prefer Ahlers and Hayward to Mike Emrick and Eddie Olczyk anyway.)
Brian Hayward has a pretty strong following in southern California, for his ab-solutely sen-sational analysis of hockey and his nightly "Hockey 101" and the pun-ny "Breaking Through the Hays" segments. Because of his affability and local notability, I am hereby requesting that Brian Hayward start a Twitter account as soon as possible.
As both a Ducks fan and Managing Editor of an Internet start-up company, I am volunteering myself as the perfect person to teach Brian Hayward all about Twitter. For one thing, I hate social media and the culture surrounding it as much as any head-scratching middle-aged person (Hazy is 48). Also, I can teach him how to keep his tweets focused, humorous and informative. Though my Twitter feed is a mish-mash of song lyrics, sports news, jokes and Diddy-isms, I feel I have the optimal amount of experience and know-how to transform Hayward's Twitter feed into an O.C. sports phenomenon.
Within weeks, I guarantee we'll have Jim Fox and Stu Lantz begging me for Twitter tips (or Twips, if you will).
How about it, Hazy? Give me a shot.
Second period is about to start now. Go Ducks!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
How I Survived Swine Flu or Pork: The Other Black Death
Practice!
Ha ha. Just kidding, of course. No, beating the swine flu is a grueling battle between Man and Virus, with pigs in between, perhaps serving as referee. I have a few tips that I've gleaned in the past few days, my head hovering over the toilet like a frat boy, the illness spreading through my bones like the sweet current of heroin. I also did my research through Causecast's Swine Flu Safety tips.
Tip #1: No making out with pigs. I can't emphasize this one enough. If pigs had the flu and now we had the flu, it serves to be true that making out with our ham-hocked friends might be a bad idea. Skip it for now. You'll live.
Tip #2: Sneeze into a tissue or, failing that, a nearby spittoon.
Tip #3: No more than one McRib sandwich per week. This may seem counter-intuitive, but it's important for our bodies' immune systems to receive small bits of acrid poison, in order to build up suitable antibodies. A small amount of swine flu, a runt flu, if you will, is just what the doctor ordered.
Tip #4: Watch Charlotte's Web, but after the film ends, pretend the farmer takes Wilbur out behind the barn and shoots him. This will suitably build up ones hatred of pork, a potent antiviral attribute.
Note: These statements have not been analyzed for accuracy by the FDA, CDC, or The Who (listen to Baba O'Reilly backwards....trust me, it's all about swine).
Ha ha. Just kidding, of course. No, beating the swine flu is a grueling battle between Man and Virus, with pigs in between, perhaps serving as referee. I have a few tips that I've gleaned in the past few days, my head hovering over the toilet like a frat boy, the illness spreading through my bones like the sweet current of heroin. I also did my research through Causecast's Swine Flu Safety tips.
Tip #1: No making out with pigs. I can't emphasize this one enough. If pigs had the flu and now we had the flu, it serves to be true that making out with our ham-hocked friends might be a bad idea. Skip it for now. You'll live.
Tip #2: Sneeze into a tissue or, failing that, a nearby spittoon.
Tip #3: No more than one McRib sandwich per week. This may seem counter-intuitive, but it's important for our bodies' immune systems to receive small bits of acrid poison, in order to build up suitable antibodies. A small amount of swine flu, a runt flu, if you will, is just what the doctor ordered.
Tip #4: Watch Charlotte's Web, but after the film ends, pretend the farmer takes Wilbur out behind the barn and shoots him. This will suitably build up ones hatred of pork, a potent antiviral attribute.
Note: These statements have not been analyzed for accuracy by the FDA, CDC, or The Who (listen to Baba O'Reilly backwards....trust me, it's all about swine).
Monday, April 27, 2009
Ptwitty has his fingers on the voice of the people
While the rest of Twitter is abuzz about Swine Flu and The Rescue, Diddy is attacking the real issues:
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
'One Of My Kind,' Conor Oberst documentary
I would say "I hate to plug," but I'm actually quite excited about the opportunity musician Conor Oberst has given Causecast. Guitar-tech Phil Schaffart filmed Oberst and his bandmates as they recorded an album in Mexico. The result is the 60-minute film One Of My Kind, the story of Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band. Watch the trailer below:
All you have to do to get the film for free is to sign up on that page. Tomorrow, April 15, you'll receive an e-mail with instructions on how to stream or download the film. Causecast hopes that you'll take the time to explore our list of organizations and donate to a cause that inspires you.
If you don't have any money to donate (and who does, really?), I'd encourage you to read about the organizations we're partnered with. Our goal is to connect nonprofits and people to inspire activism in this new era of hopefulness. Whether it's universal health care, animal rights, poverty, clean water or gay rights, you can connect with a group through Causecast that can help you get involved in the cause you're passionate about.
Giving away the Conor Oberst film is just one way we're trying to bring attention to our prestigious list of nonprofit organizations.
Okay, back to sperm jokes.
All you have to do to get the film for free is to sign up on that page. Tomorrow, April 15, you'll receive an e-mail with instructions on how to stream or download the film. Causecast hopes that you'll take the time to explore our list of organizations and donate to a cause that inspires you.
If you don't have any money to donate (and who does, really?), I'd encourage you to read about the organizations we're partnered with. Our goal is to connect nonprofits and people to inspire activism in this new era of hopefulness. Whether it's universal health care, animal rights, poverty, clean water or gay rights, you can connect with a group through Causecast that can help you get involved in the cause you're passionate about.
Giving away the Conor Oberst film is just one way we're trying to bring attention to our prestigious list of nonprofit organizations.
Okay, back to sperm jokes.
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