Wednesday, September 5, 2007

I ramble on like a Macaca...

So John McCain is in a tiny bit of hot water because he called some kid a little jerk. Now he has to spend the next several weeks trying to explain the comment and weasel around it and pretend that he never has negative thoughts about anybody, ever. I'm not a big fan of McCain, but I always defend something like this. I even defend Jerry Lewis when he blurts out the F-Word (the other f-word).

Because things like this happen to me all the time! Not quite as bad as calling someone an f-word or a "little jerk" even, but I get in tons of trouble, have to apologize profusely, and then (and this is the worst part), the offended party totally misses the joke!

Example:
Years ago I'm in a store with my girlfriend at the time. We're walking around and I think I had to buy an external hard drive or something. She sees one of those dogs with the scrunched up little faces that look like its eyes have just sunk into its head.
She says: "Aww, that's so cute! I love little faces like that!"
I say: "Me too! Why do you think I'm with you?" (I gesture at her face)

Okay...I know what you're thinking. In hindsight, the benefit of the joke was not worth the having to apologize for 4 hours. Plus, it's not even that funny. I could see if the joke was really really funny, it would have been easier to smooth over.
(Note: I have a similar, longer story to this one involving a funnier joke, but since the bulk of the people reading the blog have heard it, I will refrain for now).

The point of the above story, however, is that of course I didn't mean it! How could I have meant it? There must be some cursed gene I have that makes me not think about the consequences of words before I speak (or write) them. Same gene that Michael Richards and Jerry Lewis have. Now, to be fair in my generalizing, I will come right out and say that I exclude people like Isaiah Washington, Bill O'Reilly, George W. Bush. Those people are, respectively, a homophobe, a total schmuck, and some sort of unnatural, word-stumbling, snickering cyborg. These people do not get excused as easily, because they either have significant time to choose their words, or it's clear that they really mean what they are saying (France Boycott? I think he was serious about that...)

Anyway...the brevity has slipped away right now. What was I trying to say?

Oh yeah, everyone who reads my blog is a little jerk. No...wait a minute....

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