Thursday, September 13, 2007

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

I was trying, tonight, to think of what the Funniest Joke Ever is. I went to one of those online joke sites where users rate the jokes. Now, I'm not saying that people don't know what "funny" is, but this is the Top Rated Joke on the site:

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".

The attendant replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "Fuck You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

Ok. Clearly not funny. Made even unfunnier by the fact that the joke is passed off as a true story. How is this the top-rated joke on any website?

This joke was labeled in a BBC article as the funniest joke ever:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Really? The funniest joke ever? It's slightly funnier than the last one, but still not great. So, if anyone out there can remember the funniest joke they've ever heard, post it as a comment. I'm having a hard time thinking of any right now. Perhaps this is because of the nature of comedy. Once you've heard or seen something funny once, it becomes less funny each time you hear or see it again, as the element of surprise is gone.

Speaking of surprising, I just came upon this clip of a talking bird. I remember this very clearly, as I was backstage watching when it was filmed. I was a Production Assistant on "Pet Star" several years ago, and apparently this clip has stood the test of time.

Ha ha! Non-stop hilarity.
Did you find that as funny as those three minor celebrities?


Jonathan said...

Comment on my own blog: What I don't like about Blogger is that it makes it very difficult to edit a post once you've posted it. For example, in the post I made tonight, the font on the jokes is way too small, and it stays small after the jokes are done, even though when I go into the edit screen, it looks like a larger font. The video embed code also doesn't show up when I go back to the edit box, so I'm afraid to try and change the font for fear of messing up the video. Anyway, if you just read the post, I'm sorry that the font is so small.

Files from The Crief Case said...

Steve wins a radio contest for an all-expense paid trip to the Super Bowl and a ticket to the game. Steve goes the the game, but his seat is in the last row of the upper deck, and he can barely see the action. During the 1st quarter, he scans the seats in the lower level, to see if there is an opening. Sure enough, he spots an unoccupied seat about 7 rows from the field, right at the 50-yard line.

At halftime, he goes down to where the seat is and inquires with the man in the next seat if it is taken. The man says to Steve, "actually its not, you can sit here if you'd like."

Steve thanks the man and mentions his previous upper deck location. The man explains to Steve that he has attended every previous Super Bowl with his wife, and that this was the first one attended since she died.

Steve apologized for his loss, then asked the man, "wait a minute, you mean you couldn't get your son or daughter, or another family member or a close friend or even a co-worker to come with you to the Super Bowl?"

The man responded, "Well of course not... they're all my wife's funeral."

C.K. said...

two muffins are sitting in an oven.

the first muffin says: "Damn, it's hot in here."

the second muffin turns to the first muffin and exclaims: "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"