Thursday, May 15, 2008

No-Lane Blacktop

So, as I wrote in my previous post, my car was recently engaged in a minor complete shit-tastrophe. It was parked on the street overnight and the next morning I went out to get coffee and my car suddenly resembled the Orca at the end of Jaws. The gas tank was crushed, an axle was bent beyond repair and the suspension channel was demolished. So it goes.

I'm waiting for a phone call from my insurance company telling me how much money they're giving me. The Kelley Blue Book says my car in good condition was worth 7,500-8,000 dollars. AAA, however, says they don't use the Blue Book. They have their own independent method of comparing existing cars and giving me a price. Sounds like there's a good chance I could get mildly screwed.

I've never bought a car before, and this is one of those situations that makes me feel like I'm a total five-year-old. Honestly, I would believe it if the insurance company told me that they had to tear up my license and force me, legally, to ride a Schwinn to work for the next six months. I'd believe it if they told me I had to slap a bunch of stamps on my forehead and have the post office deliver me via rickshaw.

The description that everyone has given me about car salesmen is that they are, in general, bloodsucking razorbacks. One must treat the car salesman as if he is Gollum from Lord of the Rings. You must maintain the upper hand at all times and keep them firmly tied up with Elven rope or they'll send you right into the bosom of a giant dwarf-eating spider.

I'll keep my loyal readers posted as to my car search. I'm going to have to solve this problem soon, as I think my roommate is getting a bit tired of driving to work every day.

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