Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Retirement Used to Mean Something

Back in the old country, when someone would say they were going to retire, they would usually have been at the same job for six decades and they'd be thrown a big to-do, after which the whole village would expect them to go back to their place of residence, knit for awhile and then die quietly.

My, oh my, how things change. I'm referring to the latest music news that 50 Cent's new album will be released on December 9, one week before Kanye's latest. Wasn't it just last year that 50 vowed to quit music if Kanye's Graduation sold more copies in its first week? Well, guess what Curtis...that's a wager you lost. At least Jay-Z had the chutzpah to wait a few years before dropping Kingdom Come.

My theory is that rappers just want to be athletes and are trying to mirror the duration of their careers. Listen up: Athletes have to retire around age 38. It's because their bodies are getting old and they can't keep up anymore and they've been beaten to a pulp so much that their frail, useless legs wouldn't last much longer on the field. There's no reason for a rapper to retire. The only thing that should force you into early retirement is a drive-by shooting.

It's strange. We have plenty of old rockers but very few old rappers. LL Cool J does Pepsi commercials, Diddy releases brilliant YouTube videos, and god only knows what the guys from Audio Two are doing. Still -- I think it's time for an old-school hip-hop resurgence, don't you?

1 comment:

Lons said...

Gil Scott-Heron is only a year younger than our Dad, and he's on that Blackalicious "Blazing Arrow" record, which is only a few years old. He'd pretty much have to take the "Oldest Rapper" title, I'd think.