Wednesday, April 29, 2009

How I Survived Swine Flu or Pork: The Other Black Death


Ha ha. Just kidding, of course. No, beating the swine flu is a grueling battle between Man and Virus, with pigs in between, perhaps serving as referee. I have a few tips that I've gleaned in the past few days, my head hovering over the toilet like a frat boy, the illness spreading through my bones like the sweet current of heroin. I also did my research through Causecast's Swine Flu Safety tips.

Tip #1: No making out with pigs. I can't emphasize this one enough. If pigs had the flu and now we had the flu, it serves to be true that making out with our ham-hocked friends might be a bad idea. Skip it for now. You'll live.

Tip #2: Sneeze into a tissue or, failing that, a nearby spittoon.

Tip #3: No more than one McRib sandwich per week. This may seem counter-intuitive, but it's important for our bodies' immune systems to receive small bits of acrid poison, in order to build up suitable antibodies. A small amount of swine flu, a runt flu, if you will, is just what the doctor ordered.

Tip #4: Watch Charlotte's Web, but after the film ends, pretend the farmer takes Wilbur out behind the barn and shoots him. This will suitably build up ones hatred of pork, a potent antiviral attribute.

Note: These statements have not been analyzed for accuracy by the FDA, CDC, or The Who (listen to Baba O'Reilly me, it's all about swine).

Monday, April 27, 2009

Ptwitty has his fingers on the voice of the people

While the rest of Twitter is abuzz about Swine Flu and The Rescue, Diddy is attacking the real issues:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

'One Of My Kind,' Conor Oberst documentary

I would say "I hate to plug," but I'm actually quite excited about the opportunity musician Conor Oberst has given Causecast. Guitar-tech Phil Schaffart filmed Oberst and his bandmates as they recorded an album in Mexico. The result is the 60-minute film One Of My Kind, the story of Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band. Watch the trailer below:

All you have to do to get the film for free is to sign up on that page. Tomorrow, April 15, you'll receive an e-mail with instructions on how to stream or download the film. Causecast hopes that you'll take the time to explore our list of organizations and donate to a cause that inspires you.

If you don't have any money to donate (and who does, really?), I'd encourage you to read about the organizations we're partnered with. Our goal is to connect nonprofits and people to inspire activism in this new era of hopefulness. Whether it's universal health care, animal rights, poverty, clean water or gay rights, you can connect with a group through Causecast that can help you get involved in the cause you're passionate about.

Giving away the Conor Oberst film is just one way we're trying to bring attention to our prestigious list of nonprofit organizations.

Okay, back to sperm jokes.